It’s said that coming clean is the beginning of starting something good in a relationship. But, there are some things that can just end a relationship even before it begins. We agree, it’s always good to be open and frank with your partner before you plan to settle down with him/her. But, at the same time there are some things you should never discuss with your prospective spouse. When we say some things, we mean…
1) About Your Ex
You do not have to get emotional and start making a bunch of confessions. Your partner doesn’t need to know about your past. In case, s/he asks you about your ex, say as little as possible. Disclosing all about your ex can only lead to feelings like jealousy, suspicion and a host of other wrong feelings. Moreover, it’s an absolute turnoff to hear about all the good times you’ve shared with your ex. So, avoid talking about where your ex worked, his favourite cuisines, the restaurants he loved visiting, etc. Just forget about your past and move on.
2) Anything Negative
When we say negative, we mean your partner’s over all personality. It’s better to remain quite at times. If there’s anything that you dislike about him/her just keep it to yourself. It’s somehow not a good idea to criticize a person so early. S/he may never forget it even if the person never brings it up again.
3) A List of People You Dislike
Try and discuss more positive things. You may be the best person on planet earth but somehow, not too many people like you, which is absolutely fine. That doesn’t mean you come up with a list of names you dislike and start complaining about each of them. Why would your partner be interested in knowing why you hate someone s/he doesn’t even know? Remember, complaining is a bad idea, especially on your first date. It just makes you look disagreeable and leaves a wrong image of you. Your partner may think you do not know how to hold onto relationships. So, avoid sounding negative.
4) We’ll Move Out After Marriage
Oh, so you think you will never be able to get along with your in-laws? And why is that? Is it because you’ve got some live examples in your friend circle or family who’re living away from their in-laws and are much more happier in life or because you think in-laws just interfere too much? If you talk about living separately after marriage, be prepared to be rejected. No guy would take it, trust us! It obviously wouldn’t leave a good impression about you. It’s better not to assume things well in advance. You never know, you may just happen to get the best in-laws in the world.
5) Personal Problems
Last but not the least, let your personal problems be personal. Don’t forget that you’re still getting to know each other, so save it for the future. Your sad experiences and stories, probably won’t have much effect on your spouse. Even if the opposite person triggers a response, you shouldn’t talk about it. If you lose your partner’s interest by complaining about how bad life is, you may just lose any chances you had with him/her.
- Vipasha Pillai